there are too many                       black boys settling                into the square of my ceiling 

like balloons dangling          black boys without legs              cut off from speeding trains   black boys with dried bullet wounds seeping             through their hoodies    black boys with candies           in their pockets      and jail jumpsuits    on               black boys with graduation caps                fresh gravel on their faces     black boys with pink bras               and blonde wigs               black boys castrated          holding their heads in their hands                  black boys with smiles              carved into their cold              dead           faces    black boys              with black boy babies               in their arms              sockets empty      black boys gutted            with flowers            in their carcasses           black boys          foaming at the mouth       black boys praying               cheeks stained             white            with tears        black boys in drag     black boys           dragged           rope burns   tattooed   on their necks   black boys                      whispering       “I love you,”      now and  “fuck you”             later when i trade pussy for a dollop of truth     black boys      swiping      nectar from   the fruit of    their wounds    on my forehead    sorry black boys       pretentious black boys     quarreling black boys     studious black boys      black boys in deep debt   with class codes     instead of  names    black chests   rising  and falling with my epithet     etched into   the skin      i am tearing the  dreamcatcher    that  traps these       black boys    like bald   eagles in    an electrical fence     there are  too    many     black boys     wading  in   my blood      sunbathing in my light     black boys i haven’t yet       figured out    how to    love

Saint Capriano

i started out thinking: my love is never loud / i’m behind the scenes / loving you / i’m wiping the sweat / off your brow / and sending you back into the ring / loving you / i’m the photosynthesis happening / in the grass / beneath your feet / as you walk on me / loving you / i’m the cells / carrying oxygen to your organs as you sleep / loving you / the force / breaking the seal of the condom / loving you / i’m the gravity / keeping your jesus poster up / loving you / i’m the idea of the color you want to paint with / but can’t mix / loving you / the electrical current driving  the light / to your home / so you can reassure your daughter / the daughter that should have been mine / that there are no monsters / loving you / i’m just gonna rent a s tage / because i’m tired / of quiet lust / fed up / with gesture-filled / devotion / like knees scraped / like thighs burning / like a body / in need of an ice bath / and betray what i just said / no more love / by candlelight / no shadow-sign language / i am / the golden child / the bareback bitch / bring your devotions / your em dashes / your more/ and i’ll bring my / salacious / charred / sooty appetite / for you / like something that scares dogs / that sends rats fleeing / roaches crawling / back into dank holes / the x-ray that finds the pea-sized cancer / watching you / watching me / watching it / grow / how what’s expelled / looks like history / disguised as guts / in a bucket / trash day delight / for things that eat flesh / and come / for bile parties / i’m that kind of loving you / the bury you / and don’t shed a tear / loving you / until i am / by / myself.